I've been doing a lot of reading on embracing challenges. Everyone has their challenges they deal with day in and day out. Some of these are....more serious than others...but none the less all are trials that we confront.
I feel like i've been doing a pretty okay job at shifting perspective from the "woe is me...." to "oh hell yes bring it on...hit me with your best shot..."which has been a huge switch in my mentality. When something goes wrong I found it dropped into a positive light that I can use this to become better/stronger/happier -what have you.
This last week I stepped into a little too deep and slipped under water.
Confronting your biggest fears is an interesting process. Rational thinking is key. Letting your brain go astray and create this entire fictional universe to the situation does not help you with the simplicity that most likely the issue has presented to you.
In my case, my next steps are:
1.) apply for Fasfa
2.) move out of apartment
3.) go buff out the white on my back bumper of car (see below)
4.) fix the new car leak.... uhhh
5.) get up, get dressed, always show up
I mean it is true: Matthew Russell just tweeted this...and I TOTALLY AGREE
So I think ill get started on this. Rational thinking, Erin. Rational thinking.
Searching for the silver lining lately has been a game of hide and seek. Games can be fun...right? A positive to not wanting to be home is all this free time I have (seeing that I'm not just puttering around my house).
I also have all this time to be around more people- whom I can create better relationships with..mmmm
Not too bad. Just....irritating that no one left a note. I hope they at least learned not to do that again?
Definitely a brighter note. Now all they need is a "gluten free vegan" and they will never get rid of me....ever. The best news is that these puppies are the cheapest sandwich....BY FAR. $2.99 dinnah fo life.
When life gets rough the bike always has my back- even if there is no silver lining to the situation. Thats why we're BFFs....
I've been loving my swims lately too. A lonely 8k is EXACTLY what I've been needing. Just the loud quiet water moving around your head. My favorite is the stillness of kicking underwater before you surface and start swimming.
And when I just need that time to think and be alone. Theres always a good car drive.
We had a meet in Ellensburg this last weekend and I'm pretty sure no one could figure out why I chose to make the 1.5 drive to the pool and home both days. This is kind of why. The PNW is a beautiful wild pace...(almost everywhere BUT the Tri-Cities) and sometimes I just want silence. Stillness and silence.
And surprising but not surprising- was how the most normal I've felt in the last two weeks was during and after my weekly runs. I asked my mom if I could just run all day every day. What if...
And then there are the kids....which make any cloudy day ten times better.
Ive been thinking about what Bob said "every little action...there's a reaction." ("Satisfy My Soul")
Instead of: the negative...where the mind ego takes over and runs in rhythmic negative cycle/circles.... this tiny blimp into this huge catastrophic event.......circles....until finally you are so exhausted of the negativity that you...give up? Or I guess just spin and spin...
That what if we take this blimp.... and we add so much positive energy that it started a chain reaction to everyone/thing we encounter- propelling this blimp toward a positive path.
HMMMMMMMMMMM. It's like Monsters Inc....(let me throw in a Disney movie into the mix) didn't they decide that the laughter was like 100x the power of the screams. Go Disney!
Blair and I in Federal Way.
And the little ones. They were like my little happiness reminders this weekend. I mean how could you possibly be having a bad mood when you have one of these faces poking you in the back roughly every 20 minutes to check in/out of their races.
And the keets. Unconditional love. Never leaves my side.
Here's to now. And staying now. Choosing the positive reaction.
Love, Erin
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