"Ironman is:
the single toughest event you will put your body through in your life
really is the most amazing, most addictive sport that you can come across (belinda)
it is a process of seeing what you are made of and seeing what you can pull out of yourself
its just one long tedious conversation with yourself
there's so many voices in your head saying stop
you can get to the core of yourself of who you are as a person. you can find out what your made of. you can find out whether your tough enough to get through this.
every individual has more greatness in them then they ever know is possible"
Kona 2010 Introduction
wooo off a plane and in Hawaii!
- If it's not coming now, I'm not sure it is-
The realization that it has happened. That my life goal. My ultimate aspiration. Has come and gone. There is no vein in my body, breathe I take in, muscle to be built, (and maybe skin to be burnt) that doesn't have a new purpose. To return to Kona.
I have been waiting until the day comes that it hits me, and that I am able to sit and reflect. Everything about my experience. Everything is going to have a lasting impression on my life. Something as simple as a swim in the ocean, is embedded, second by second, the finite details...to be played over and over ....and over and over... facing the scrutiny of my own judgment.
lavaaaaaaa
a run few days before the race- ali'i drive
Coming from such a long line of competitive background, I find it hard to not find the flaws. As flaws in performance are your key points of guidance to make improvement- they are your lessons learned. They are your motivation. I actually find it very relieving while reading a bit of Heather Wurtele's race report, that this is not just myself that has a hard time being pleased with performances. Looking forward, to be great, you’re always going to need to find those flaws, or else you will always be doing the same….now being 8th in the world….I think that she has it right- phenomenal. However, it’s been very difficult (and I actually gave it up) explaining to someone that I am happy with my performance, I am ecstatic that I was able to compete uninjured and truly enjoy the day. However, I will make sure I make it to Kona again. I will want to race next time.
Lynn Cox said it well in response to a question about being happy about a goal that was unreached:
“I asked myself if I would follow the advice (she told him) and I decided that’s not the way I do things. I don’t lower the bar. Maybe it’s because the bar’s not high enough or maybe it’s because I work toward goals in reachable steps.”
October 10, 2011
Pre- Race, 5:15am
Going into Ironman Canada I had a lot of knowns. I had such a wealth of knowledge. I had ridden the Canada course multiple times, I had swum in the lake before, I had run part of the run course. I had such an amazing support of Tri Cities Ironman Canada finishers to answer any questions I had. There wasn’t a lot of nerves going on before the race.
big girls dont cry
Kona is a different animal. Kona was full of unknowns. Could I even finish with having done one 6 weeks prior? Did my body recover and retrain in preparation? Are the winds going to blow me over? Am I going to get eaten by a shark? Is the energy lab going to absolutely kill me?
If you know me- I don’t like unknowns.
Race morning, I was a wreck. I felt like a newbie, this is the first race JM hasn’t come and inspected my bike beforehand- or been able to be a comforting force before the start. It was time to put the big girl panties on.
Body marking was buzzing with energy. The look on everyone’s faces was about the same- an anxiety- filled excitement. I fought tears as she marked 1942 on my arms (this happens to be the year my grandpa viuhkola was born) and I headed out to t1. My mother and Jm caught me on my way, and I muttered through tears “ I am so nervous.” I had been holding it in for days- as I feel the second you admit out loud to an emotion it becomes truth. However, realizing this was not the time, I said bye and headed to the pier. Like I said, big girl panties.
Quickly I headed to my bike and made sure everything was in-line. Borrowed a pump- checked my tires, and found a place to sit down. This actually was the hardest part of the whole day. The wait. The speakers were so loud announcing the pros as they were getting into the water and preparing for their start. We had a half hour until our start. During this time, Dave Scott was wandering around transition and I briefly made eye contact with him….um wow. It all of a sudden hit me. “Erin. Get ready. You are doing an Ironman in a half hour. Get with it.”
Swim Start 7:00am
a work in progress
swim start 6:45 am
Thanks to TYR and Hillary Biscay (see below) I pulled on my TYR Torque speed suit. It fit perfect, put me right back to my years at MD- where we were outfitted in TYR. I couldn’t believe the difference in the water. I decided then and there- I LOVE non-wetsuit legal swims.
Did a bit of a warmup- and found myself finding a place on the line. Everything was happening so fast and I was in a weird state of adrenaline overload. There was no decision to be made where I placed myself. I just found some sweedish goggles and sat there. I could tell the men around me were rolling their eyes (reminded me of Canada) but I was not budging. I wasn’t afraid of being on the line. I just wanted to make sure there wasn’t someone in front of me that would cause a traffic jam.
Always watching the start to Kona they say how physical it is. I knew there would be some touching, but I didn’t realize how bad it was going to be. I understood why the guy in front of me (who turned out to be TJ Frey) had his goggles underneath his cap. Once the horn blew it was a tornado of water around. I didn’t know there were so many people…and why we all needed to be on top of each other within a split second. While swimming with my head up the first 30 seconds I saw goggles flying up into the air. I couldn’t believe it. I was terrified I was going to lose my goggles. That would absolutely ruin the entire day getting that much salt water in your eyes for over an hour.
Once it thinned out a bit I found myself some feet to follow. The water was beautiful. There was so much to look at, however with so much going on you don’t really have the chance to stop and enjoy the thousands of fish and coral plants. Before I knew it, we were making the turn around at the boat a little over a mile out into the ocean. I saw the scuba diver with his big television camera and I just smiled. All of those hours of spinning to old Kona videos and here you are! Smile- hope this makes the NBC tape! Haha
I found myself swimming in the second wave (or pack) of age groupers. My goal was to be within the top women out of the water (hopefully top 5 age groupers- also sub 56:00.) I saw a pink cap up ahead, and realized it might be a little much to get up and catch her- so I kept going where I was. In the back of my mind- there was a TYR bonus for being the first age grouper out of the water - $2000 of TYR things. Keep within your goals, Erin.
T1
Coming within the finish of the swim I jumped out of the water and ran up the stairs. This is it. T1- now onto the bike. I loved running through the showers heading to the women’s change tent.
As soon as I sat down (there were 30 plus women awaiting the swim finishers) I asked what place out of the water I was- 2nd woman in. Awesome, yet so close! Turns out the girl that had won the bonus Haley Chura 53:33 had swum for Georgia. That is so great! It felt awesome to be in such fast competition! My time: 54:44, very happy with my goal time being met.
Bike 8:00am, 7:04:30\
this is actually a few days beforehand
same for this
A lot of my anxiety approaching Kona was correlated with the bike portion of the race. I was so nervous about being uncomfortable and stressed with the mega cross winds. Also, I really didn’t want to be in the way of the 1500 (plus) athletes that were to pass me on the bike portion.
At Calgary 70.3 I lead the women until mile 10 of the bike, Ironman Canada I believe it was around mile 6. This was not the case at Kona. I was passed within 2 or so miles. This was to be expected- however I knew this was going to be a long day.
Luckily once we climbed up Palani and onto the Queen K, the winds tended to be “slightly less than a normal Kona Competition day.” This felt great! There were still winds- just not the gusty 40 mile an hour winds they are used to. I felt pretty good until about mile 45.
There were aid stations roughly every 5 miles…until mile 45. Being a dummy, I didn’t do any research about where and how often these would arrive on the bike. Once we left the Queen K and headed out towards Hawi the winds switched to being more in our faces.
At this point in the race I regained energy as I watched the lead bikers with Chris Lieto, Craig Alexander, and Andy Potts go screaming past. These where just the few that I recognized within minutes of each other. A bit later, the women did the same. It was amazing seeing those women. My idols, flying down the descent from Hawi. I actually took time and recognized quite a few of them and tried to really look in their faces. My favorite was seeing the contrast between Miranda Cafrae and Lindsey Corbin. They were both racing, yet I caught Lindsey as she was taking a gazing look at the beautiful ocean down below the cliff. It was so blue and inviting.
At mile 50 I started to feel the heat. I had the biggest head wind of my life, and was completely unsure of the mile marker at the Hawi turn around. I knew it was a hill…just not sure how long of a hill. (not to mention my bike computer that is rubber banded to my bike…was adding roughly .2 onto every mile wasn’t helping). I was going between 6 and 8 mph for roughly 20 minutes. What was worse was the fact that the bikers going down hill (with the biggest smiles I’ve ever seen) still looked damn fast…and I wasn’t recognizing anyone that had passed me recently. I knew the hill had to be a ways farther….and I was starting to get the feeling of needing to pee. GREAT. There are NO TREES….NO BARRIERS….IM HOT….AND NEED TO PEE. Where is this turn around!
It did take awhile. But what a mental relief! I jumped off my bike, relieved myself and rode down to special needs. Luckily, I had my EFS finished this time around….wooo!...and I grabbed my second bottle of EFS…refilled my First endurance liquid shot and took off down the hill.
MY TURN. Once I got to the bottom of the hill, I started the climb back up to the Queen K. This is the point of the ride I have a really hard time remembering. The videos of Kona make it look like if you were to crash and fall of your bike, or succumb to the heat and sit down that you would be picked up within minutes of a medical van. Well…you would be picked up….not sure whether it would be within a half hour though. It was so unbelievably lonely. The fast riders had an hour on me by now…and beside the once-in-awhile rider to pass me…you were all alone. This combined with the heat created my biggest challenge of the day.
At around mile 80 of the bike I had convinced myself that once I returned into Kona I was going to stop. I was so confused and couldn’t remember when I needed to take my nutrition, which is actually very simple (every 5 and 10 miles). I couldn’t keep track of when I was taking it…and began talking to myself to calm everything down. I was so hot that I begged a spectator to tell me when the next water station was, I couldn’t remember and I felt like I was boiling inside my head.
This lasted from mile 80-100. I couldn’t believe the heat.
I was so upset with myself for being so hot, and so weak mentally. I couldn’t believe that I was letting it get to me that bad. “Just get to Kona” I kept muttering to myself.
Once I was returning back to town and passed the airport my mood shifted significantly. I just wanted off the bike. I could finally see people, and as I got closer saw the lead women’s van leading the women coming into the finish. Yup, that’s her stride. Chrissy Wellington leading up on the Queen K with 4 miles left on the run. Holy shit…”Erin you are not giving up….look at her fighting…do not give up.”
I was happy with my bike time. Although, yes, it is slow for Kona. But Kona is the BEST IN THE WORLD. I have been riding my bike for a year and a half. Please watch what you say (to me) when you are examining my race- I do ride my bike. I ride my bike a lot more than I swim or run…or do those both combined….thank you (love, erin).
T2
Thank you so much for letting me get off my bike. I was ushered into the tent (got my socks all wet from the floor) and slipped on my sacony flats (which I LOVE) and my Lake Stevens 70.3 visor. (I actually had to pin the back---the poor thing is getting old and stretching too much).
Run
out on the run roughly 10 miles
Although they were reading the pavement temperature on the first 10 miles of the run was 130 (?) I actually didn’t notice the heat. I was just overwhelmed with my ability to still run. I was off my bike after 3:00pm (which was my goal- a 7 hour bike) and switched my watch to read my run only.
I saw my mother and Jm, and was barely able to mutter “the bike was hard.” Really, Erin? You had the energy to say something and that’s what you said? Really? It was hard, yes, but would you want an easy ride in Kona? That’s what makes it so special. That it IS hard.
ali'i
This was the fastest (feeling) part of the entire day. Mentally, it worked really well for me. I love out and backs. The first part of the run you do a 5 mile out and back on Ali’I Drive and then you climb up Palani and onto the Queen K via the Energy Lab, where you do another out and back- and then you’re home free.
My legs were up and down. Any bit of a hill and my heart rate shot through the roof. I knew this was either the heat- or lack of something nutritionally- so I played it safe and walked every hill and every aid station. I knew this wasn’t the fastest way to go about the marathon- however I also wanted to finish the day running.
However, on the first out and back I really banked on having an aid station every mile…and since they were trying to accommodate both the outers- and the backers the miles were stretched out weirdly. This mentally is challenging when you give yourself those prizes of a walk to drink water.
Once you finish that out and back I climbed out of the beautiful ocean view of Ali’I and up the hill to the tree-less highway of the Queen K. I saw my support and they gave me that boost to keep going. It felt so good to see JM. He has been there for me through all of my training and I carried him with me the entire day. My mother was jumping up and down with her camcorder encouraging me to keep going. The loud announcer picked me out of the crowd and said “and Erin Holmes headed up on her run. Erin the world is watching.” This hit me deep. Choking back on tears I POWER WALKED (hahahah) that hill and continued running at the top.
The run was difficult. Luckily for me at that time of day the sun is setting and the heat is starting to drop- (not that it will drop)…however the hardest part was the hills on the highway. I was used to short steep hills. I absolutely LOVE hill training. These weren’t hills. These took FOREVER…at a very gradual gradient. Just enough to spike my heart rate….too long to walk the entire thing. What a dilemma. This is the part of the race I look back on and get disappointed in myself. I train harder than a walking pace. I was there to enjoy the day, however I hate the feeling of giving up in yourself. So I made an agreement with myself. The energy lab was coming up- you can walk all you want- until the energy lab- and you are running that the whole way.
Deal.
The energy lab is a steady downhill to the ocean, surrounded by lava rocks where you turn around and climb your way back up. This takes place around mile 16- 18. Special needs were also located at the bottom (mile 18)----this I also didn’t know. My awaken gum just had to wait…haha.
It was beautiful running down towards the ocean. I really lucked out in my timing. I got to watch the most gorgeous Hawaiian sunset on my way en route to the ocean.
Once I hit the turn around I grit my teeth and ran up the entire hill. Relieved, I got to the aid station, grabbed a cup of water, and was handed a glow ring. These are required for anyone expected to finish after the sun had set and gotten dark.
This was my absolute favorite part of the entire experience. Pitch black darkness. Only you, and the sound of your footsteps pitter pattering to the finish. You were all alone with no sense of up, or down, with the glow of lights jogging towards you and away from you. I learned a lot about myself the next 6 miles to the finish. That is something I will never forget.
Once you climb the last hill to Palani and descend down into the sounds of the finishing shoot, your mind is just racing. You are trying to absorb absolutely every single person, sound, feeling that is surrounding the road to the chute. Everyone is encouraging you, as if you had just made 5.000 new friends.
The entire drive down towards the chute was surreal. Everything was going too fast…and yet so slow. I tried to engrain everything I was seeing to memory. Running up the carpet, I reached the little bridge, stopped, hopped and concluded my long day. 12:30:19.
my support crew
the finish chute was amazing
done.
pizza time!
mother
Post Race:
I couldn’t believe how many people have approached me in saying “I cant believe I know an Ironman.” I immediately correct them in the sense that our community has a ton of Ironmen. I look up to each and every one of them. I would have never been able to accomplish this day without the help of all of them. I would love to sit and personally type out how each person has helped and impacted my life in this community- however I would be typing for the next 4 days. I would like to thank Eric Greagor and the 3 Rivers Road Runners club in Tri Cities Washington. My roo2 bike got safe and sound to Kona and back (she thanks 3rr).
I feel as though my family has just extended 50 people.
I would also like to thank Jm. Watching the video my mother had taken from that long day, I get very emotional seeing him with tears in his eyes while watching the runners out on the course. His energy and drive is contagious and like I’ve said before- he is my rock.
My mother, who will be competing Ironman Canada 2012 (yayayayayya), has set such an amazing example for me throughout my life. For her to come all the way to Hawaii and spend all that time and energy keeping me perusing my dreams- is totally her personality and I am totally and absolutely grateful for that.
Todd Stafek, who has taught me how to swim, and taught me to fight,. He wont let me give up on something because there’s a possibility that you will fail. He has taught me positive goal setting- and keeps my aspirations strong (he handed me time standards for a Grand Prix meet in Texas in March yesterday…..hmmmm J).
I would like to also thank Hillary Biscay. I mentioned her story below in my previous blog- however she truly is an inspiration. She is not only a phenomenal athlete, but an equally as phenomenal person. She made me feel so special- and did all this through the kindness of her heart. She recently posted on my facebook saying congrats and to let her know my plans for the future. To have someone that great show some belief in someone so young in the sport- was amazing…and I hope someday I can run into her again.
hillary biscay
I am still gathering my thoughts and trying to conclude my emotional stand point of where I am at- and – honestly- I could see that spanning ANOTHER 4 pages…..however- this will be (im sure) something that will be a multi- post (on my blog) reoccurring for months.
I am just so thankful for everyone that has supported me- and everyone who has approached me post- race saying that they bought their first bike- or ran an extra mile on their run- or tried a little bit harder on their workout because they were inspired and they knew they could. As stated above,
“every individual has more greatness in them then they ever know is possible.”
Love, Erin
