patience

Patience hasn't really been my favorite word the past couple of weeks. As my work schedule is getting more crowded- it has been hard to stay patient to manage my 3 jobs, training, and hobbies without turning into a stress case.

I found myself getting really anxious about getting in "this amount" of bike (or swim) time...with "this amount" of time to get on the bike which will leave me with "this amount" of time to shower, eat, get dressed and get back to work (which unfortunately is around 15 minutes).

I think what I'm missing right now is my runs. Runs are awesome. You can get a perfect awesome workout in 30-60 minutes and be done for the day. I realized that running has been something very present in my life since I first started getting back in shape and training for triathlon.

...and going from (3 years of) roughly 5 days a week of this stressrelievingawesomeness to ....well....maybe one (if you count 10-20 minutes...)...it just wasn't really cutting it.

WELL great news is: I ran an hour today----painfree. It was great. We decided to go run the mountain- finding that if i keep my stride super short theres no risk of the "click"...so what better than a hard effort up...and  a super easy run down.

I can't wait until I can enjoy this everyday. But until then....an hour made me so so so happy.

I'm starting to think this whole mess is stemming from my back. Ive taken some good steps towards maintaining my strength through all my stabilizers...core strength...started stretching/foam rolling around 1.5hour daily(between am/pm)--and i feel pretty good...minus my back.

I've always had a weird back though- after sitting for about 15 minutes I can bend backwards and crack it all the way up my spine--any time of the day. I think there was something to do with seeing the chiro once to twice a week.

Well anyway- I can't say that everything has been going perfectly lately. Unfortunately, with life, I feel the "downs" only make those "highs" even more magnified--that being the "downs" a necessary thing.

I've been working really hard at finding this "suffering" (as in the suffering that is life) as something that I can control. To take myself out of it and examine from an outside eye. Constantly I remind myself: "Erin you have your legs. You have your arms. And most importantly, your brain....you will be fine."

But it doesn't stop the once a month breakdowns. I would just like to figure out what is going on in my body. It doesn't make sense why this happened. Countless times I've pulled out my training logs and reexamined the patterns leading up to the "click" and I wasn't being irresponsible.

Maybe it's time for a coach?

Love, Erin