Soaking up the Tour

I grew up idolizing two people. Lance Armstrong and Jessica Newman.

I must have read Lance's first book three or four times now (and I must say its staring at me on the bookshelf). Being a 14 year old (girl) competitive swimmer from the middle of nowhere Washington, I wouldn't say that  I related too closely to the world re known Texan cyclist. However, something about the way he spoke about cycling, and what it meant to him was very relate able.

I would go months on end without shaving my legs, so that for my A- Meet, whether that be Sectionals, Junior Nationals, or Nationals, I could shave my legs and arms and go SUPER FAST. One glitch- I would NEVER take off my livestrong. The drag addition was well worth it. Looking down at my hands before every race, there was that reminder- that all your hard work will pay off. Trust yourself.

I haven't taken it off since I was fourteen (this is my 3rd one).

Jessica Newman. She was amazing. At fourteen or fifteen she qualified for nationals. At 5'3'' she wasn't too intimidating--until you saw her swim. She also happened to be my bestfriend's older sister. Being an impressionable 12 year old girl everything Jessica did- I wanted to do.

I even remember the first day Todd allowed me to swim in her lane at practice. I must have been 13, she was 17. She was NOT happy about it...and made it very clear. But swimming with my idol- was like swimming with an Olympic gold medalist. I wanted to keep up.

Jessica was a huge contributor to my success. She set the example of how important practice was. This was not play time. To be good, you train...and train...and train. But not just train. You train hard. I don't recall her ever complaining about a set. You don't complain. You don't question. You do.

She always had her nails painted bright pink.

Jessica passed away a few years ago. However, whenever I enter that "pain cave" I think of her, and everything seems to be okay. You don't complain. You don't question. You do.

I cant imagine buying any other color nail polish- (believe me I've tried).

Being the middle of July, I realize this is crunch time. Every workout counts. 5 weeks until the big day. I had a bad ride on Saturday. It's so hard to explain to someone that the 15.4 avg MPH is NOT okay. I will NOT be happy with just "getting through." I have a hard enough time explaining to myself why that's not okay...that I am not an advanced enough writer to explain why I wont settle with just getting by.

It's the fight I play with myself between giving up and being totally disappointed with my effort. Which one will plague me more the rest of the day (until I get super pissed and redeem the workout)?

I do know that to be the best, you have to train the best. I realize I've been in the sport less than two years, but I have the fire of 10 years. Whatever it takes.

I want to win an Ironman. From start to finish.